Zoloft & Risperdal at first - now just the Zoloft.
A great Pschyatrist & Psychologist - which is actually where I'm headed today ;-P
SpaWn of MeDusa
JoinedPosts by SpaWn of MeDusa
-
30
Anxiety, stress, depression - What do you take?
by MsMcDucket ini've been feeling like a slug.
the antidepressant that i was taking wasn't working.
the doctor couldn't give me another steroid injection for my migraines because it caused my blood sugars to go sky high and made me suffer from steroid induced mania; and then after it started leaving my system, i had this really down feeling.
-
-
-
47
OutKasted ;-P
by SpaWn of MeDusa inhello in there ;-p. wow wow wow.... i never knew such a place existed.... unfortunatly i don't have a lot of time to type right now & believe me i'd need days, perhaps even weeks & i'd probably still feel like i wasn't done.... in short... my name is jodie, i'm from australia, i'm about to turn 32 & i am a jehovah's witness outkast... i wasn't kicked out, i left of my own accord when my parents divorced & i was about 14... my father, my younger brother & me - the 3 black sheep !!
my father was disfellowshipped, he was an elder who also happened to have bi polar... the day ( or technically night ) my father was disfellowshipped was the saddest time of my life - it was more like a death or a funeral, something tragic... when my parents divorced i went to live with dad, i was always closer to my father plus when he left he had nothing... he lived on the river bank in the middle of winter for 6 weeks in a tent ( while his good christian jehovah's witness father & sister slept warm in their beds in the same town... ) dad bought a little caravan & he & i lived in it, eventually he bought some land & built a house & my younger brother joined us.... anyway to cut it all short... i've suffered badly from depression - so badly it's almost killed me & my brother also... the crux of our depression is our mother, our sister's, our grandfather, our aunt's & all of our relatives are jehovah's witnesses - most of them live in the same town as us altho they may as well live on the other side of the world.... you know, sitting here thinking about it all - it all makes perfect sense... how can families be torn apart like this, how do they not realise it is wrong & sad & wicked ??.
i've spent more than half my life trying to have any sort of relationship with the rest of my family.... anyway i have to get going.... hasta la vista .
-
-
SpaWn of MeDusa
Hi Sass - my sister is intelectually handicapped. When she was first born the Doctors thought she had Downs Syndrome but it became clear after a while that it wasn't because she looked like you & I. When she was a bit older they thought she had Fragile X but when they ran tests they discovered it wasn't that either & Mum decided not to worry about any more testing ( perhaps the most thoughtful thing she's ever done... )
Anyway she is now on some sort of medication which is called Serenace which I think is to treat people with Tourette's Syndrome, Schizophrenia & other Psychotic Ilnesses...
-
62
Should I wait to be questioned by the elders? or take my leave in advance?
by Thinking of Leaving inhi everyone, i recently joined this forum as i'm close to being df.
i am suppose to meet with a judical committee soon but was thinking that i don't want to go through those personal questions that i'm sure the elders would ask.
does anyone know, is it better to just tell the elders before, say like on the phone, that i want to be df and not go through the committee?
-
-
SpaWn of MeDusa
Either you want to be a Dub or you don't, you can't be both...
Or maybe you can... Thats if you want to live a double life... The other Dubs won't know... Altho if there is indeed a Jehovah & if he is as all knowing as they say he is then it kinds of defeats the purpose... You've lied, God knows & you won't get to live in a paradise earth...
Or maybe you can forget your little rendevu with the world, fess up & spend the next few months sitting at the back of the hall, speaking to no one until they've decided you're repentant enough to rejoin the flock...
Or you can live your life, make new friends & have fun with your bloke...
Trying to explain yourself to them is freakin pointless - it's not going to change anything... As long as they think they have a chance to suck you back in they will hound you...
From someone who knows - a quick clean break is essential for your own well being & that is all that matters...
Do bother to explain things to your Ma, hopefully she's a little more human than mine !!
All the best
-
62
Should I wait to be questioned by the elders? or take my leave in advance?
by Thinking of Leaving inhi everyone, i recently joined this forum as i'm close to being df.
i am suppose to meet with a judical committee soon but was thinking that i don't want to go through those personal questions that i'm sure the elders would ask.
does anyone know, is it better to just tell the elders before, say like on the phone, that i want to be df and not go through the committee?
-
-
SpaWn of MeDusa
I feel sorry for you having to wait around & sweat it out... I wouldn't even waste the money on a phone call, let them come to your house ( whenever they do decide to turn up ) so you can have the satisfaction of telling them to FARK OFF & MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS, then close the door on them & your old life !!
Of course you don't have to tell them to fark off but wouldn't it be great to be the one in control of the conversation when they do eventually turn up on your door step, say what you think & don't listen to any of their garbage ??
I guarantee, you'll feel a lot better ( & worry far less ) knowing in advance what you want to say... You'll probably feel like you're hearts going to beat out of your chest when you're saying it but afterwards you'll be able to give yourself a huge pat on the back knowing that you stood up for yourself !!
Cheers
-
34
What nicknames were you given when you were a J/W by schoolmates/workmates?
by pobthespazz inespecially if you were raised as a dub like me, well i was called a muslim, holy joe, a jahoodsoon, all seems funny now but torture when you was the only dub in the whole school.
-
-
SpaWn of MeDusa
They mostly called us Bon Jovi's here in Australia or the usual JW, Bible Basher or Door Knocker... They never could just say Jehovah's Witness & be done with it !!
The teasing was bad... Esp when the door opened up to another student from school...
-
47
OutKasted ;-P
by SpaWn of MeDusa inhello in there ;-p. wow wow wow.... i never knew such a place existed.... unfortunatly i don't have a lot of time to type right now & believe me i'd need days, perhaps even weeks & i'd probably still feel like i wasn't done.... in short... my name is jodie, i'm from australia, i'm about to turn 32 & i am a jehovah's witness outkast... i wasn't kicked out, i left of my own accord when my parents divorced & i was about 14... my father, my younger brother & me - the 3 black sheep !!
my father was disfellowshipped, he was an elder who also happened to have bi polar... the day ( or technically night ) my father was disfellowshipped was the saddest time of my life - it was more like a death or a funeral, something tragic... when my parents divorced i went to live with dad, i was always closer to my father plus when he left he had nothing... he lived on the river bank in the middle of winter for 6 weeks in a tent ( while his good christian jehovah's witness father & sister slept warm in their beds in the same town... ) dad bought a little caravan & he & i lived in it, eventually he bought some land & built a house & my younger brother joined us.... anyway to cut it all short... i've suffered badly from depression - so badly it's almost killed me & my brother also... the crux of our depression is our mother, our sister's, our grandfather, our aunt's & all of our relatives are jehovah's witnesses - most of them live in the same town as us altho they may as well live on the other side of the world.... you know, sitting here thinking about it all - it all makes perfect sense... how can families be torn apart like this, how do they not realise it is wrong & sad & wicked ??.
i've spent more than half my life trying to have any sort of relationship with the rest of my family.... anyway i have to get going.... hasta la vista .
-
-
SpaWn of MeDusa
I just realised I never told you my Mother's & Sister's reasons ( from their own mouths ) for not being there for my Brother & I...
When I asked why they treated us differently... My Sister said i t was to teach us a lesson - so that we would know what we were missing & those were her exact words...
I just got home from dropping my Son off at the pool & who should we see while there... The Dragon Lady herself !! I feel sorry for my 28 yr old Sister who is handicapped & trapped...
Seeing I have a little time up my sleeve, I might tell you about 'The Seige'
Since my Parent's divorced my Dad had visitation... From 3-5 on Thursday's & 12-5 on Saturday's which he kept up altho a lot of the time he would go to pick the kids up & there'd be an excuse as to why they wouldn't be going...
Anyway - we all grew up & went with our prospective parent... My Brother & I with Dad, my 3 Sister's with Mum altho one Sister never had a choice as she is handicapped...
One Sister came to see Dad when she needed money for a car then didn't see him again after that...
The other Sister Anna ( who is handicapped ) would still get to see Dad every now & then altho mostly it was excuses as to why she couldn't...
About 2 years ago I was visiting Dad & we decided to pop around & ask Mum if Anna could come over for a visit as it had been ages since we had both seen her so we drove over & I went to ask... At first it was no & then it was ok but you have to bring her back in 15 minutes, I was like 15 minutes - thats crazy what can we do in 15 minutes - drive to Dad's house then turn around & come right back so I convinced her an hour which she begrudgingly allowed...
So... We went over to Dad's & then my Brother Nathan shows up who lives about 3 hours drive away so well thought it would be nice to go out for dinner seeing we havn't seen him in a while... So we ring Mum to ask but no one home so we go out for dinner which is all good, we have a nice time & it's good to see everyone & catch up... On the way back from dinner Anna asks Dad if she can go live with him ( Anna is like about 26 years old ) so we stop the car to talk about it & decide ( because of her handicap that she might not realise what she really wants so maybe just stay overnight ) so we drive to Mum's to ask if Anna can stay the night & can we have her pyjama's please which she says no & won't give us her pyjama's... So we go back to Dad's ( Anna still wants to stay ) & we're having a cup of tea & watching tv when the phone rings... It is my Younger Sister on the phone all hysterical saying bring Anna back etc & not to make her angry to come over & get her... I tell her that Anna just wants to stay the night & whats wrong with that & she's all hysterical, I can see that I'm not going to be able to talk any sense with her so I hang up... The phone rings again & I say the same thing... A little bit later she rings again & tells me to walk Anna to the front driveway where people will be waiting for her... By this time I think Anna is worried about getting into trouble so she decides that she better go home even tho she says she still wants to stay so we decide when we finish our cups of tea we'll take her out to the front driveway... Anyway about 30 seconds after that my younger Sister starts pounding on the front door yelling to Anna to walk to the front door & we're like hang on she has to get her coat & her shoes ( it's winter ) & she's yelling Anna don't worry about your shoes just walk to the front door...
Anyway so I say to Dad that I'll go with her as I'm not letting anyone think the wrong thing & that we were trying to hold her hostage or anything like that which is what they were acting like... When we get to the front of the driveway there are about 4 car loads of JW's waiting with arms wide open saying Oh Anna we're so glad you're safe... I was like listen to me this is what happened & explained to them Anna just wanted to stay the night & then I asked Mum to promise me that she wouldn't take what happened out on Anna & stop her from seeing Dad which she promised ( in front of everyone... )
Anna & Dad havn't seen each other since that night which was about 2 years ago...
I would dearly love to know how some of them sleep at night...
-
47
OutKasted ;-P
by SpaWn of MeDusa inhello in there ;-p. wow wow wow.... i never knew such a place existed.... unfortunatly i don't have a lot of time to type right now & believe me i'd need days, perhaps even weeks & i'd probably still feel like i wasn't done.... in short... my name is jodie, i'm from australia, i'm about to turn 32 & i am a jehovah's witness outkast... i wasn't kicked out, i left of my own accord when my parents divorced & i was about 14... my father, my younger brother & me - the 3 black sheep !!
my father was disfellowshipped, he was an elder who also happened to have bi polar... the day ( or technically night ) my father was disfellowshipped was the saddest time of my life - it was more like a death or a funeral, something tragic... when my parents divorced i went to live with dad, i was always closer to my father plus when he left he had nothing... he lived on the river bank in the middle of winter for 6 weeks in a tent ( while his good christian jehovah's witness father & sister slept warm in their beds in the same town... ) dad bought a little caravan & he & i lived in it, eventually he bought some land & built a house & my younger brother joined us.... anyway to cut it all short... i've suffered badly from depression - so badly it's almost killed me & my brother also... the crux of our depression is our mother, our sister's, our grandfather, our aunt's & all of our relatives are jehovah's witnesses - most of them live in the same town as us altho they may as well live on the other side of the world.... you know, sitting here thinking about it all - it all makes perfect sense... how can families be torn apart like this, how do they not realise it is wrong & sad & wicked ??.
i've spent more than half my life trying to have any sort of relationship with the rest of my family.... anyway i have to get going.... hasta la vista .
-
-
SpaWn of MeDusa
Hello all : ) : ) : )
I can't find the POST A PHOTO thread on here due to the blonde chemicals in my brain...
Oh & my little yellow rectangle thing is on fire ???
I'd like to know more about everyone, hobbies, what we like doing for fun, what we do for a living, how many children do we have, what cars do we drive, anything else we do thats interesting...
That'd be kool...
BTW Dad came over & spent an hour or so reading here - he was pretty interested !!
Ciao Meow
-
47
OutKasted ;-P
by SpaWn of MeDusa inhello in there ;-p. wow wow wow.... i never knew such a place existed.... unfortunatly i don't have a lot of time to type right now & believe me i'd need days, perhaps even weeks & i'd probably still feel like i wasn't done.... in short... my name is jodie, i'm from australia, i'm about to turn 32 & i am a jehovah's witness outkast... i wasn't kicked out, i left of my own accord when my parents divorced & i was about 14... my father, my younger brother & me - the 3 black sheep !!
my father was disfellowshipped, he was an elder who also happened to have bi polar... the day ( or technically night ) my father was disfellowshipped was the saddest time of my life - it was more like a death or a funeral, something tragic... when my parents divorced i went to live with dad, i was always closer to my father plus when he left he had nothing... he lived on the river bank in the middle of winter for 6 weeks in a tent ( while his good christian jehovah's witness father & sister slept warm in their beds in the same town... ) dad bought a little caravan & he & i lived in it, eventually he bought some land & built a house & my younger brother joined us.... anyway to cut it all short... i've suffered badly from depression - so badly it's almost killed me & my brother also... the crux of our depression is our mother, our sister's, our grandfather, our aunt's & all of our relatives are jehovah's witnesses - most of them live in the same town as us altho they may as well live on the other side of the world.... you know, sitting here thinking about it all - it all makes perfect sense... how can families be torn apart like this, how do they not realise it is wrong & sad & wicked ??.
i've spent more than half my life trying to have any sort of relationship with the rest of my family.... anyway i have to get going.... hasta la vista .
-
-
SpaWn of MeDusa
I was right... I was so tired this morning I just did not want to get up altho I did...
The phone rang, which is right next to my bed & then it rang again immediatly afterwards - it was my Dad, he's going to come over sometime, I'll show him how to use the mouse as I'm sure he'll be here for a long time reading & maybe even doing some typing - hehehhe I'm not even sure he knows how to type...
I'm not sure what my Brother believes... It's like he's in self destruct mode altho he hasn't been a pot head for around 2 years so atleast thats one thing !! He's basically disowned everyone in our family but Dad & I & he no qualms in telling my Mother where to go or how much she f***ed ( scoos my french ) his life... Where as I always try to fit in her life somehow altho I've decided I am no longer going to bother... I wonder sometimes if she ever realises how much things have stunted our lives, realises how much grief it's caused us or if she hurts herself... Does she cry herself to sleep ?? I don't know if it's worth my while to ask her...
As for my Daughter's name... My Son's friend has a little sister named Alaska & when I was pregnant with her he annoyed me the whole time to call her Alaska which by the time I had given birth it had grown on me that much that I did... She didn't look like any of the other names I had chosen !!.
My Dad has never remarried altho he has a GF but I'll tell you about that some other time as it's a whole nutha story ;-P
I think it's pretty kool that Diamondblue met a lovely girl from here !! I think it'd be wonderful to have that extra thing in common that nobody but us can quite understand... I look forward to checking messages here & I look forward to gaining friends that have that same extra thing in common - it's what I have been missing most in my life : )
See you all
You guys rock !!
xo
-
47
OutKasted ;-P
by SpaWn of MeDusa inhello in there ;-p. wow wow wow.... i never knew such a place existed.... unfortunatly i don't have a lot of time to type right now & believe me i'd need days, perhaps even weeks & i'd probably still feel like i wasn't done.... in short... my name is jodie, i'm from australia, i'm about to turn 32 & i am a jehovah's witness outkast... i wasn't kicked out, i left of my own accord when my parents divorced & i was about 14... my father, my younger brother & me - the 3 black sheep !!
my father was disfellowshipped, he was an elder who also happened to have bi polar... the day ( or technically night ) my father was disfellowshipped was the saddest time of my life - it was more like a death or a funeral, something tragic... when my parents divorced i went to live with dad, i was always closer to my father plus when he left he had nothing... he lived on the river bank in the middle of winter for 6 weeks in a tent ( while his good christian jehovah's witness father & sister slept warm in their beds in the same town... ) dad bought a little caravan & he & i lived in it, eventually he bought some land & built a house & my younger brother joined us.... anyway to cut it all short... i've suffered badly from depression - so badly it's almost killed me & my brother also... the crux of our depression is our mother, our sister's, our grandfather, our aunt's & all of our relatives are jehovah's witnesses - most of them live in the same town as us altho they may as well live on the other side of the world.... you know, sitting here thinking about it all - it all makes perfect sense... how can families be torn apart like this, how do they not realise it is wrong & sad & wicked ??.
i've spent more than half my life trying to have any sort of relationship with the rest of my family.... anyway i have to get going.... hasta la vista .
-
-
SpaWn of MeDusa
Hehehehhehehee !! It's all good...
I havn't stayed up this late in ages - I'm going to be soooo tired tomorrow... Thank Christ I don't have to get up early in the morning, mark my Watch Tower & rush to the Sunday meeting in a dress to my ankles - yippee !!
Someone should tell those whacko's that Sunday's are for sleeping in & sleeping in only !!
We've just finished watching the Grammies - way to go Wolf Mother !!
;-P
Crumpet - My Father actually told me this morning he was feeling a little down in the dumps - he worries a lot about my Little ( but much much taller than me ) Brother... My Brother lives a few hours from us - he's only 25 & has been married, divorced, a pot head, lost his licience for drink driving 3 times, gets drunk every day of the week & gambles away ALL his money... ATM he's just lost & I reckon it will take him another few years to get his life on track, I reckon he'll be like me & start doing something about it around age 28 but like me I think it will also take a while... I worry about him also... A few years back Dad & I found him in a drunken state in his shed, standing on a chair with a rope around his neck... I love them both so much !! My Daughter will be 4 in May - her name is Alaska & she's great !! I have a 10 year old Son as well named Cameron & he is almost as tall as me !! I also have a lovely Boy Friend named James, he's a shearer, he's a bit younger than me ( 25. ) We've been together about 2 & a half years & it's all good - mostly - hehehehe !! He still lives with his family & stays with us on the weekends which is nice - I get my space !!
Ninja - Fishing is good !! We didn't end up taking the boat out today, too much to organise so we just took ourselves & our fishing rods & a few other odds & ends out to the lake & fished for a few hours... James caught a little Carp ( over here they are pests & arn't allowed to be put back into the water no matter what size ) & a Yellow Belly which wasn't legal so back in it went... I caught a big Carp but didn't quite land it - got it right to the shore, enough to see what it was then it got off - lucky Carp !! We Fish a lot, we fish whenever we can, we are fishing mad I tell you...
I am so tired...
T
I
R
E
D
Me need sleep...
ZzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzzZZzzZZzzzzzzzzz
Have good schnoozies everyone !!
-
47
OutKasted ;-P
by SpaWn of MeDusa inhello in there ;-p. wow wow wow.... i never knew such a place existed.... unfortunatly i don't have a lot of time to type right now & believe me i'd need days, perhaps even weeks & i'd probably still feel like i wasn't done.... in short... my name is jodie, i'm from australia, i'm about to turn 32 & i am a jehovah's witness outkast... i wasn't kicked out, i left of my own accord when my parents divorced & i was about 14... my father, my younger brother & me - the 3 black sheep !!
my father was disfellowshipped, he was an elder who also happened to have bi polar... the day ( or technically night ) my father was disfellowshipped was the saddest time of my life - it was more like a death or a funeral, something tragic... when my parents divorced i went to live with dad, i was always closer to my father plus when he left he had nothing... he lived on the river bank in the middle of winter for 6 weeks in a tent ( while his good christian jehovah's witness father & sister slept warm in their beds in the same town... ) dad bought a little caravan & he & i lived in it, eventually he bought some land & built a house & my younger brother joined us.... anyway to cut it all short... i've suffered badly from depression - so badly it's almost killed me & my brother also... the crux of our depression is our mother, our sister's, our grandfather, our aunt's & all of our relatives are jehovah's witnesses - most of them live in the same town as us altho they may as well live on the other side of the world.... you know, sitting here thinking about it all - it all makes perfect sense... how can families be torn apart like this, how do they not realise it is wrong & sad & wicked ??.
i've spent more than half my life trying to have any sort of relationship with the rest of my family.... anyway i have to get going.... hasta la vista .
-
-
SpaWn of MeDusa
Thank you so much Guys !!
Crumpet, you are exactly right when you said sometimes we have to make new families for ourselves because ours really arn't worthy of us & that is what I have done... Well ofcourse I've kept my Dad & Brother ( he hee ) but I've replaced the others over time !!
I had a lovely older next door neighbour, we used to both get out & do our gardening at the same time & have a chat. I've since moved but she still comes to see me whenever she's in town & we have a catch up. I nearly died one afternoon when we were having a coffee together & she started telling me about her first time ( it was really like a Mother/Daughter conversation... ) Yesterday I told her about my depression ( I had a bad bout about 2 weeks ago but have since gone back on the Happy Pills & am now feeling much better ) & told her why & she said that she always thought of me as a Daughter & that she would be my Mum !!
My Best Friend's Mother & Father ( whom I have only known about 4 years ) are Grandparents to my children... My Daughter stays there whenever I need, they bought her a cot, clothes, bottles, formula, you name it, everything so that when she goes to stay it's already there... All I have to do is drop her off !! They take her on holidays, they love her to bits just like real regular Grandparents !! I am like their Daughter, at Christmas we all spend the day together & I am given the same gifts they give to their Daughter's ( their Daughter's have the same JAG watches, I have one too - we all have matching bracelets & that sort of thing... )
On the other hand my real Mother is a cold fish... She never hugged or kissed me let alone told me she loved me... Heck she didn't even tell me about THE BIRDS & THE BEE'S... I was about 14 or 15 years old ( ok this gets a wee bit personal ) when I got my period for the first time & I had no idea what it was !! I thought I was dying, I really did !! I took Panadol to make it go away !! This is how close & comfortable I was in telling my Mother, I didn't tell her... Instead ( I think it was on the 2nd or 3rd day ) she forced me to go out witnessing even tho I was in some pain & very emotional & upset... So here I was out witnessing with another Sister & it was my turn to offer the Watch Tower & Awake... Well... I couldn't do it without breaking down, the poor lady at the door thought I was howling because the article featured was about starving children in Ethiopia or something like that - needless to say she bought the magazines... Afterwards the Sister asked me what it was all about & I told her... She must have told Mother because sometime after that she made me show her my underpants ( sorry if it's too much information... ) to prove that I actually had my period & then mumbled something about fish or tadpoles, handed me a packet of massive pads & that was the end of that...
It's funny, the little things we remember... When I was out fishing earlier I didn't think I was going to come here & start telling people about my period !! LOL - but you know what... I don't feel at all uncomfortable for having told you guys : )
ATM we are watching Meet The Fockers - hehhehehhe - very funny !!
Toodleoo